July 3rd, 2006
pinaghalong emosyon..
Lately, thing's are not going my way. I have a hard time to sort out things, which is myself also don't know.
I just realize that too much is bad and too little is also bad. If I put my mind on the stuff, well the result will totally diffrent, from what I expected. Expectation and Surprises are always together. If you expect too much, it may turn out different from what you are expecting, if you don't expect anything at all.. well it give you too much surprises.. see? how this life made for us. It's difficult, yet we still here living and asking for another day.
Sometime's I can't help to think about "DEATH". It's difficult to survive, you are running to a dark portal and you can't escape from those ugly bat. They are chasing you around and sometime's they suck's a blood. And then finally, you see yourself lying on the floor.. waiting for someone, who will help you to stand up and find a way to escape. Sometime's I just want to scream up to my lung's like no one will hear me, but I can't.
I just also realize that I give too much love to those people around me, like I always see the good side and I close my eyes to the reality of the opposite side. Yet, what they see to me is only the negative and doesn't like my style. See? I can't be somebody else, I can't please everybody. I can't hate them, coz we are extremely different.
Let all be balance.. that's the lesson.
end of my story.
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kanina pa...
Magbabasa ako ng libro kailangan kasi. Binubuklat ang bawat pahina, isinasaulo ang bawat inpormasyon. na-blanko ang utak, bumalik na naman sa unang binuklat. binasang muli. ganun parin, parang di ko xa nabasa. Nawala na lang bigla.. 'ai putek!!' inaantok naku, wala pang pumapasok sa utak ko. Kailangan ko pang imulat ang mga mata, babagsak ako at walang maisasagot bukas.
Kinapa ang cellphone, maglalaro muna ng tetris. Sandali lang, ay bigla ko itong binalibag. Nagalit ako. Ai' hindi pala di ako nagalit. Nalungkot ako. HIndi talaga ang paglalaro ng tetris ang gusto kong mangyari. Hinihintay ko talaga itong tumonog sa kamay ko, habang nilalaro ko ang tetris. pero di xa tumonog. Pinatay ko ang cellphone. Pinalitan ko ng ibang simcard. Naghintay ng txt sa mga kaibigan. 'meron naman kahit pano.. late nga lang..' hai.. pinatay muli ang cellphone, ibinalik ang unang sim. 'syet!' umaasa pa rin pala ako sa 1 message received. wala.. wala.. wala..
Napatingin sa relo, 10pm pa lang.. pwede pa ako magsaulo.. habang nagbabasa. maya-maya. tulog na pala ako. naidlip! 'waaahhhh!' alas tres na! wala pa akong naaaral. at bakit? imbes libro ang pinulot! bakit ang cellphone ko pa rin.. 'hai... ' napabuntung hininga.
Kahit pala gising ako o tulog man, wala ring palang mangyayari. Umaasa ako.. oo nabubuhay ako bawat araw na umaasa. 'putangina!' may bagong bukas na naman! 'anong maisasagot ko?' CELLPHONE na waloang message!...










nung march ko pa nakita yung abnormal na yun.. anong petsa na!!! july na ngyon, we still didn't see each other, since we separate our ways to FAR EASTERN UNIVERSITY!..it's a long2 story.. and I can't put it here ryt away.. kung may time man ako ikwento yun eh, sobrang matatawa kyO sa kwento namin.. para talagang pelikula.. gus2 nyO ba? hehe.. pero ang 22o po nyan ay hindi kame.. opo! totoo yun, hindi kame.. its just parang "YOU AND ME" but not "US".. but actions speak louder than words.. we both never talk about it, but inattempt na rin.. kaya lang nauwi sa biruan.. we always talked kc in a jOKe way! ganun.. hehe.. wala pa ata kaming topic na napagusapan na TUMINO ang utak namin.. we always do it in a funny way not taking it seriously.. bUt i do.. i dont know his story.. manhid lang siguro talaga kame.. Oh, baka this is not yet the time.. bUt i hope someday, everything will be clear for us.. sana isa na samin ang magtanong! waaahh.. NAPAKATORPE kc namin.. hehehe.. ewan ko ba, I dont know what he feels kc toward me.. or maybe Im just pessimistic and always think the 'but'..